Public Displays of Affection

02Oct06

 

The Straits Times today has a very interesting feature on H8 today, under Youthink. A photograph of a young couple hugging on an MRT train was taken by a reader and sent to Stomp. The couple were wrapped around a pole and each other, and the reader and her 12-year old daughter had nothing to hang on to. She described the behaviour as ‘shameless’.

Quite a few people leapt in with their opinions, and I shall reproduce a few in part here for your reading pleasure.

I am all for PDA, as long as it does not get out of hand. How do we know when our behaviour has crossed the line? […] My take is, if it makes the people around you uncomfortable, don’t do it. It may be a free country and you are free to do whatever you want, but why allow other people to draw erroneous conclusions about you?

– Mazuin Khamis, Ngee Ann Polytechnic graduate

I have a few objections to the points he raises. First, he pegs the standard of distasteful behaviour at that which results in surrounding people’s discomfort. Second, he states that individual freedom is uncurtailed but we should nonetheless refrain from certain acts so as to prevent people from thinking bad of you.

While his sentiments pretty much echo mine in that PDA = generally bad, his rationale is flawed. The motivation behind the refrain from PDA that he suggests is that of external rebuke. However, the gauge of one’s standard of decency should be internalised rather than ascertained from one’s surroundings. If people around you are uncomfortable with you dancing on the streets, it doesn’t necessarily mean your behaviour has crossed the line. It just means you don’t entirely conform with societal norms, which cannot be a reason for condemnation of such behaviour. Instead the standard should be realised by one’s sense of morality.

As with most “Westernised” breaches of decency, the blame is almost always pinned on our youth… These days, when career comes before family, and monetary gain is viewed as the logical choice over spending quality time at home, parents are increasingly leaving their children to their maids or at childcare centres…. serves as a reprimand to neglectful parents who have lost control of their children

– Yusuf Abdol Hamid, Ngee Ann Polytechnic graduate

Come on man! Here we have youngsters out gallivanting and making out in public, and what do such youths do? They turn around and blame their parents! No, seriously, blaming our parents for ‘neglecting’ their children and thus tacitly allowing their decay of morals? Isn’t much of a surprise that the future generations just seem more and more ill-disciplined and (dare I say it) repugnant if they can’t even assume responsibility for their own actions.

On campus recently, I saw a couple publicly displaying their affection. As I passed by, the girl squealed gleefully: “Honey, people are watching.” The guy replied: “Because my girlfriend is so pretty.”

– Nicholas Sim, first-year business administration and law student at NUS

Definitely, without a doubt, my favourite of the lot. Because I think i’m not alone in making a simple educated guess as to which couple in Law School he is referring to! I hope they read this and realise they are disgusting. Anyone else from law here not know who i’m talking about?

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